Do problems make us stronger?

They say that problems make us stronger. 

But I actually think that if you get stronger, there won’t be any perpetual problems that can’t be solved. That is, you will obviously have things to solve in your daily life, but they won’t have a dramatic effect on you, you will simply do what you have to do.

I was wondering, what is the actual yield of the path I am travelling? What others sometimes see as being annoyingly free. It is interesting that many consider me to be annoyingly free, but knowing human nature I can easily imagine that watching someone jump around in the field while you are behind bars must indeed be annoying. 

Exactly because that particular someone has gone through a kind of self-liberation that the majority of people feel unable to do, holding on to their barriers. Including the problems.

These problems actually give people some purpose. The focus of their life is not to be problem-free but to generate ever new ones because without them they would have nothing to do. 

They give their life a purpose so they remain in the cycle, generating new ones. That’s what makes them feel alive. 

It is sad to say it out loud like this, but I have seen several cases where I offered someone the opportunity to get rid of it all and they started to panic. They panic because they cannot even imagine how they will spend their time without so much crap filling their life!

Quite an addiction, this. Quite strong.

But this choice has a true life-giving gift. It is a question of choice. I wouldn’t like to sound boastful, but there aren’t any dramatically experienced problems in my life. Because I decided so.

How did I do it?

This is how: I decided not to have complicated, problematic, pending relationships. So there aren’t. 

I decided not to have issues swept under the carpet. So I don’t. 

I decided not to go into a relationship that isn’t the best for me and my child. So I didn’t. 

I decided not to be afraid of being alone and not to go from one relationship to another without having processed the previous one, only to be saved by some guy. 

I decided not to worry whether I would have enough for all that’s needed. And I had. 

I decided not to remain in the feeling of illness and I am healthy. I have become healthy. 

I don’t have unnecessary daily difficulties because I decided so. 

I don’t need problems so I don’t have them.

You are responsible for your life. Decide who and what you choose. Whether you want to poison or to liberate yourself.

And whoever chooses to be annoyed by your freedom, let them be. Who cares?

Berni 

Excerpt from The One – The Book of Life, Death and Rebirth

http://www.bernibarna.com

Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash